Emotions

Being in a camp wih a roomie for 5 days is such a daunting idea. 

Especially if it's the roomie that you can't trust to understand you. 

That's why I'm so extremely hesitant in agreeing to be anybody's roomate. Because what if you're feeling stifled with the person there and you don't really want to talk but are forced to talk? No, absolutely NO girl gatherings of any sort in my room. Girl time is a contrived idealistic idea that should belong to 5-year-old play groups. But this is just my perspective after being burnt by cliques on numerous occasions. 

Or maybe it's just the person. Or a person. I wouldn't give two blinks if I were rooming with a dog like Rosie or Nikki. Or maybe it's just her. Maybe it's the little competition that we have going on, the fact that you think you understand me but you're completely wrong about it. We're both the same age. Sometimes I feel like you think you're better than me, sometimes I find you and sbb little too over-friendly in my presence. Sometimes I wonder why sbb keeps asking me if I spoke to you/gave you what I baked/was nice to you. Even though I already did/was. Sometimes I find sbb liking your presence/company a lot. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a person's company. But maybe because it's you. He thinks we are good friends but we are not haha. SBB secretly likes your traits, I can tell. He likes to tell me to tie my hair like yours. Please, no. I have my own identity. I'm not saying that I don't want to learn from others whatnot, but its the fact that you have been rubbed in my face far too much for my liking. 

Anyone can like your traits, even my mother or my guinea pig can like your traits. Because you're so kind, loving to kids.......But traits are just traits if you don't impose them on others. I don't need ppl to tell me that I need to be like you or like see?? She was this or that before now she's so independent, has her own hobbies, friends etc.  

I am fine the way I am. I don't need to reminded that I'm supposed to be less emotional/more independent/more refined/this or that just because you thought you were once like me before. You never tried to die so badly before so please don't say you can understand me. I accept that these are traits that are good to have but it doesn't mean that I have to be like you.  

I don't need to be reminded that I'm lesser than you. Honestly I can say that you mean no harm, and might genuinely want to be my friend. But I guess our personalities are different. Again, it's definitely more than personalities.